What to Say to a Self Harmer
Self-harm is a complex issue that affects many individuals, often in silence and secrecy. It is a way for some people to cope with emotional pain, trauma, or distress. If you know someone who self-harms, it can be difficult to know how to approach the subject and offer support. In this article, we will discuss what to say to a self-harmer to help them feel understood and supported.
1. Acknowledge Their Feelings
The first and most important thing to do when talking to a self-harmer is to acknowledge their feelings. Let them know that you understand that they are in pain and that their emotions are valid. Avoid minimizing their feelings or telling them to stop. Instead, say something like, “I can see that you’re really struggling right now, and it’s okay to feel this way.”
2. Be Non-Judgmental
It is crucial to approach the conversation with non-judgmental language. Self-harm is not a choice, and it is not a reflection of their character. Avoid using words like “stupid” or “crazy,” as these can be hurtful and reinforcing negative self-perceptions. Instead, focus on the situation and express empathy, such as, “I know it must be really hard for you right now, and I’m here to support you.”
3. Offer Help Without Pressuring
When talking to a self-harmer, it’s important to offer help without pressuring them. They may not be ready to seek professional help or make changes in their behavior. Instead, say something like, “If you ever want to talk about what’s going on or if you need help finding resources, I’m here for you.” This shows that you are available to support them without making them feel obligated to change.
4. Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help
While it’s important to offer support, it’s also crucial to encourage the self-harmer to seek professional help. Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, can provide the tools and strategies needed to cope with their emotions and address the underlying issues. Suggest that they consider talking to a professional and offer to help them find resources or make an appointment.
5. Be Patient and Understanding
Recovery from self-harm is a process that takes time and patience. It’s important to be understanding and supportive throughout their journey. Remember that setbacks are a part of the process, and it’s essential to continue offering your support without giving up on them.
6. Learn About Self-Harm
Educating yourself about self-harm can help you better understand the struggles of the person you’re supporting. Learn about the reasons behind self-harm, the types of self-harm, and the potential risks. This knowledge can help you offer more informed and compassionate support.
In conclusion, when talking to a self-harmer, it’s important to acknowledge their feelings, be non-judgmental, offer help without pressuring, encourage professional help, be patient and understanding, and learn about self-harm. By providing a supportive and empathetic environment, you can help the person you care about on their journey towards healing.
