How to Deal with Narcissistic Hoovering
Narcissistic hoovering is a manipulative behavior often exhibited by narcissists, where they suddenly reappear in a person’s life after a period of absence, only to pull them back into their orbit. This behavior can be incredibly damaging to the person on the receiving end, causing emotional turmoil and confusion. In this article, we will discuss how to deal with narcissistic hoovering and protect yourself from its harmful effects.
Understanding Narcissistic Hoovering
Before we delve into strategies for dealing with narcissistic hoovering, it’s essential to understand what it is. Narcissistic hoovering occurs when a narcissist feels threatened by the distance between themselves and another person. To regain control and dominance, they will use various tactics to pull the person back into their life. This behavior can be cyclical, with the narcissist repeatedly pushing away and then pulling the person back in.
Identify the Signs of Narcissistic Hoovering
To effectively deal with narcissistic hoovering, you must first be able to recognize the signs. These may include:
– Unexpected and unexplained contact
– Guilt-tripping or shaming the person for not responding
– Threatening to harm themselves or the relationship
– Using flattery or admiration to manipulate the person
– Making promises to change but never following through
Set Clear Boundaries
One of the most effective ways to deal with narcissistic hoovering is to set clear boundaries. Establish what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make it clear that you will not tolerate manipulative tactics or emotional abuse. Remember, boundaries are not about changing the narcissist; they are about protecting yourself.
Stay Calm and Composed
When a narcissist begins to hoover, it’s crucial to stay calm and composed. Reacting with anger or frustration may only fuel their behavior. Instead, maintain a level head and respond to their attempts to manipulate you with a calm, assertive demeanor.
Seek Support
Dealing with narcissistic hoovering can be incredibly challenging. Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Sharing your experiences and receiving guidance from others who have faced similar situations can be incredibly helpful.
Limit Contact
If possible, limit your contact with the narcissist. This doesn’t mean cutting them off entirely, but rather reducing the frequency and duration of interactions. This can help prevent them from gaining control over your emotions and life.
Focus on Self-Care
Narcissistic hoovering can be emotionally draining. It’s essential to prioritize self-care during this time. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice mindfulness, and seek out positive relationships that support your well-being.
Conclusion
Dealing with narcissistic hoovering requires resilience, assertiveness, and a strong support system. By understanding the behavior, setting clear boundaries, and focusing on self-care, you can protect yourself from the harmful effects of narcissistic hoovering. Remember, it’s not your responsibility to change the narcissist, but to take care of yourself and move forward with your life.
